Just Kill me Already
by ThisisPorky
Summary: You know that moment when you feel so broken that you can't even save yourself? It's not a good feeling.


Everyone but me was dead. I had managed to escape the hail of bullets all together, but everyone else had fallen to them. I'd hear shots of the syringe gun or the sound of a shotgun going off before the pained cry and scream of one of my fellow team-mates. I couldn't do anything to save them. We'd lost, for the final time we'd lost, and our guns had been taken away from us. Whoever was killed would be permanently dead; no re-spawning or coming back to life - we'd be dead for real. Why? Who the hell knows? Maybe the Administrator got bored of us and wanted some new replacements in, killing us off so we didn't brag about our time here.

But who the fuck knows? All I know is that Re-Spawn is off and everyone on BLU but me are dead.

Heavy had an arrow in the head, allowing him to be pinned to the wooden wall. Engineer was hanging from the top of the base like a fucking flag. Sniper had a butterfly knife deep in his back. Demoman had his other eye shot and Medic was lodged right in the middle of a metal pole. Spy was simply shot a few times while Soldier's head was missing from his body. And Pyro? Somehow burned to the stake.

I hadn't ran into any of them, thank fuck. But I felt empty inside; dead; alone; weak. I've not even got the chance to say good-bye to Ma or anyone else for that matter. But will she even care? She didn't seem too bothered when I'd shown her the return slip telling me I'd gotten the job for this place. She didn't seem too bothered when I waved goodbye to her, no tears, no trying to talk me out of the job to stay there, nothing. She just waved gently before returning to the house like she didn't give a fuck. She didn't seem to care that time when I came back shivering like fuck, soaking wet and mucky from head to toe when I was younger. She just sent me to my bath, not even asking what happened, only scowling at me and telling me not to get mud all over the new floor. She didn't seem too bothered when she witnessed me be pushed out into a busy road and nearly got hit by an on-coming truck. She just told me to be more careful and gave me a clip around the ear. Did she care I was being killed over and over again? Did she care that I was going to permanently die? Would she have any emotion at all when the people rung her and told her I wasn't going to come back?

I just sighed and walked on. I had no idea where I was walking, I just kept placing one foot in front of the other. Snow gently started to drift to the floor, and the wind had picked up. I didn't care. I didn't attempt to take out my jacket from my back-pack for warmth nor didn't bother to start jogging to try and warm up. I was too broken to care about anything anymore.

Eight months. Eight moths I'd been working with all the classes here. Everyone had been so awesome, so laid-back, so funny, always there for everyone and me. I'd never get to tell them how much I liked it when Engie' cooked, or how much I liked Pyro's little woolen blanket on cold nights. How much of a Father Sniper reminded me of and how much Spy cared for me if I was ever hurt or sick. How much Heavy watched my back in battle or how often Soldier showed his tender side to me on odd days, or how much Demo entertained me when I was bored. Even Medic laughed at some of my stupid jokes. The bastards had even killed Archimedes, which I find no point in...

It's not like he had a voice or anything...

The snow had gotten heavier in my time of thought, and I could soon hear my feet crushing the white stuff to the floor gently. My bandaged hands were brought to my arms, my teeth gently chattering. I'd probably either die of the coldness, or hunger, or dehydration; to which I didn't really care. I was gonna die anyway; everyone does eventually. It just depends when and how they go out. And I feel too broken to try and defend myself any longer.

I suddenly hear fast crunching foot-steps behind me, and they were getting closer. I sighed. 'Found me...' I muttered to myself, but I instead kept walking, but this time more slower to allow whoever it was from RED to catch up. The footsteps stopped right behind me, to which I stopped too. He might as well have a good aim instead of a moving target which is harder to hit. Breathing deeply, I awaited the shot to the head or chest. But after a while, nothing came. All I could hear was the gentle wind whizzing by me and a soft panting.

'Well?' I called out, not turning around. 'Ya gotta gun or what? Shoot me, dumb-ass...'s what ya came for, ain't it? Ta finish me off?' Nothing. Silence. Had I imagined it all? The footsteps? Growing annoyed, I spun around quickly, anger boiling inside me. I just wanted it to be over with. And there, stood the RED Heavy. He had no mini-gun or shot-gun with him, and he was looking at me like I was a ghost or something. 'A little silly not bringin' a gun, huh.' I spoke bitterly. He just continued to stare at me, which annoyed me a little more.

He was wasting his own time, here.

'What ya st-starin' at?' I asked, shivering gently with cold. 'Are ya gon-gonna kill me with ya bare han-hands or somethin'? Give y-ya so-somethin' ta talk about to da oth'er's, 'a s-suppose.'

'Baby man no run...'

'W-whats ta r-run from?'

'Me...'

'Yeah, we-well, 'm sick 'a runnin'. Just fi-finish me off already.'

'I do not vant to...'

'W-why da hell no-not?"'

He stared at me with those baby blue eyes of his like a little fucking puppy dog. 'Co-come on, fatty, jus' finish da j-job already, m-man!' I glared back with my cold and bitter eyes, but he didn't move. Sighing, I sank my head low. 'Jus'...f-finish me off, man...' I whimpered, shivering lightly. A few seconds in, footsteps were heard crushing the snow, and then I saw the Heavy's face right in mine. He was knelt down to my level, looking me in the face. I could feel tears sting in my eyes, and I sniffed gently as I looked at him. I felt like I was seven again, when I was getting told off by my Ma for smashing the neighbors window in with my base-ball.

'I do not vant too. I do not vant to kill anyone who cannot come back.' I blinked and stared at him. 'I feel horrible vhen baby team kill leetle BLU team...I try to stop them, but they no listen...' I felt two huge paws be placed on both of my slender shoulders, to which I flinched and gasped slightly. 'Is hard to see people die... I know that, but this vas vrong, and should never have happened. You too young to die properly.'

''A-'a feel broken, m-man...' I replied, whimpering pathetically. 'I-I wanna go...I dun wanna live an-anymore...'A wa-wanna be we' mah t-team...'

'You need to, baby man. You have too much to live for.' He smiled weakly and patted my right shoulder gently. 'You could be next best base-ball player for all ve know.' I chuckled gently and sniffed again, shivering as a gush of wind passed us by. 'I vould take you back to base, but baby team vould kill you, and I don not vant that.'

'Is' alr-alright...I wouldn't mind...'

'But other people vould.'

'L-like...?'

'Baby friends in Boston, your Mother-'

'My M-Ma didn't give t-two shits about me, r-really...'

'Vhat...? She your Mother, though...' I sighed and looked away, holding my left arm like a little kid.

'She neva' r-really loved me...' I started. ''A knew it from an e-early age. She had seven 'a us, all 'er love was use-used on dem and d'here never re-really was any l-love left for me w-when 'a came... The on-only thing she gave me w-was shelter, but she never tucked me in bed or hugged me, o-or gave me food or clo-clothed me herself, I h-had to do dat all m-myself...not even Spy knew wh-what she was doi-doin'... She just told 'im that I-I was being moody and diff-difficult and 'e l-left with dat i-in mind...' I shrugged lightly, still keeping my gaze to the floor. '...We were always yellin' and she never liked it when 'a was openin' mah mouth so 'a ke-kept quiet all da time. She neva' cared dat I was bul-bullied or beat-up or anythin'...' More tears came to my eyes, but I forced them back into my skull the best I could.

The snow continued to fall, even more heavier now, not caring about us. ''A was so glad wh-when I finally got a-away...' I continued. 'S-so thankful t-to have some new pe-people around me... I don't e-even miss mah brotha's...t-they just made it ha-hard for me to live on, re-really... I hated it when mah br-brotha's cal-called me names or pushed me about o-or made fun 'a me, and 'a could neva d-do anythin' about it...'cause Ma w-would yell at me...' I couldn't hold the tears back anymore. 'Ev-everyone I know is dead to m-me...Engie'...Solly...Damn it, even dat co-cock sucker-backstabbin'-of-a'Spy is dead! ...W-what the hell have I got to l-live for now, h-huh...? So-some crap life back in Bos-Boston where people w-would be lookin' fo' me just ta kill m-me?'

The Heavy remained quiet, and all the while I didn't look at him. I felt too ashamed to, too embarrassed to face a man such as him. I could feel his stare, but I didn't dare move to face him. He was practically made of steel, hell, was he even listening to me?

'Look, H-Heav...just fi-finish me off...if ya d-don't, the ot'hers will j-just come lookin' for me ta k-kill me, anyway...and I'll di-die out 'ere soon enough... S-so why wait till dat happens...?' I wiped away a few stray tears in my eyes before I finally plucked enough courage out of the snowy air to look at the man opposite me. 'Throw me off a c-cliff, kill me with ya b-bare hands, I do-don't give a f-flying fuck how ya do i-it...hell, l-leave me out 'ere...'

'You really have lost all hope...'

'Why da h-hell keep a-any, now?'

'Life is not as short as leetle man think...'

'O-one way or da otha', it i-is fa' me...'

He sighed gently, and after a long moment he said, 'You sure?' Sliding his hands off my shoulders, I nodded slowly. With that as a gentle 'yes', he slowly got to his feet. 'Baby man vant to turn around, then.' He spoke with such kindness in his voice. Sniffing, I did what he said. The sound of a gun being pulled from a jacket pocket was heard, and I sighed deeply and closed my eyes.

'You know...' He said, now the sound of a gun being loaded high in the air. 'Me and you vould be great friends...' I laughed gently, tears streaming down my red and stinging cheeks. But all that would be over in a few seconds.

'Y-yeah?' I closed my eyes, ready for the shot. 'Too bad da co-colour's separate us...'

'Good bye, Scout... May you Rest In Peace.'

'Yeah, g-goodbye, He-...'


End file.
